How Authentic are you...Really?

                                           

Hi Everyone!

I hope your summer is wrapping up well. The Master Gardener and I are gathering the vegetables and herbs from our garden and trying to get a jump on preparing the soil for the winter. My herbs are drying, he is been busy canning. So, between our garden and the Farm in Naperville we’ve had a boatload of fresh vegetables and herbs!!!!

It’s during this time, late August/ early September, that I take a look at how my summer went. What did I accomplish (or not) and how did my plans work out, or not work out. I look to see if I’ve made some new friends, lost any friends and what my relationships look like. I do this now because after September we run full force into the Holiday Season and to me it’s almost impossible to evaluate/re-evaluate from October until the end of the year.

One of the biggest areas I look at is how authentic I am/was. Was I Me? And did I present myself to my friends, family, students and people I met in an open and honest way. Was I AUTHENTIC or was I being someone else?

I think these are fair and valid questions that everyone should take the time to ask themselves. Who are you at work? And who are you at home? Are those two different personalities or not? Do you apply the same values at work that you do at home? Should you?

Back B.H. (before Hana) and even B.L. (before Lad), I can say I wasn’t terribly concerned with my authenticity. I’ve rarely met a person in their late teens/early twenties who is. However, as I’ve gotten older have become more aware of “being me”. I have realized that in trying my best to “be me” certain things might happen.

For one, not everyone likes me. Back B.H. /B.L that would have driven me to distraction. Now? Not so much. Most of the time if I sense someone just doesn’t like me, I shrug and say “Oh well. Their loss”! Sometimes, I will admit, when I get a feeling someone doesn’t like me I get a crappy feeling in my stomach. But most of the time it’s “Oh well”.

Another, I find it very difficult to be me with difficult people. This summer I had dealings with a couple extremely difficult people. People who run right over other people’s feeling and words…my Mom would probably call them “Steamrollers”…steamroll right over you. Those kinds of people just irritate the heck out of me. I find it VERY hard to deal with people like that. So, being authentic with those people, to me, is HARD.

Another, we have grown up in a world where people were not encouraged to be authentic. Where we all grew up with a basic sense of what’s right and what’s wrong, we weren’t told that how and what WE decide is right or wrong would shape us for the rest of our lives. I wrote a piece on April 25, 2013 about Doing the “Right” Thing. I highly encourage you to check that out. What I find with people is the struggle to do the right thing seems to be so hard for some. That is something I cannot understand. Yes, I know-there are always “gray” areas. I get it. But when it comes down to what is right and what is wrong…you always know what you SHOULD choose. But do you always do it? General H. Norman Schwarzkopf said “The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it”. True words.

Lastly, in trying to be authentic and trying to be “me”, I see things about myself that make wonder. I mean, I have said to myself this summer MANY times- “What the heck were you thinking????” Or “Why on Earth did that EVER come out of your mouth???”. In shifting to being more yourself and authentic, be prepared to learn some things about yourself that make you a little uncomfortable or honestly, that really just tick you off!

Fortunately, I have plenty of people around me to make me laugh at my crazy idiosyncrasies!! And most of the time I try to laugh right along with them. I will admit, sometime it’s kind of hard. I think that being authentic and being true to yourself is always the best way to go. I would much rather people like me for who I am instead of some imposter…or poser.

During the next couple weeks ask yourself if you are authentic. Ask yourself if there are certain people/situations that you are “someone else”, and then ask yourself why. If you are not being your true, authentic self with someone, I wonder if that’s a sign that maybe that relationship is not a good one. Try being authentic for a full day. What happened?

I feel better when I am authentic…when I am being me. Try it. You might like it.

Thanks for reading!!!!!! As always Stay Healthy, Eat Well and Be Happy!

And as John Green says- “Don’t forget to be awesome”!!!!!

*** Artwork by Hana Urban
*** www.Hanaurban.com

Heroes...Do We Need Them?

Hi Everyone!

I wrapped up my summer classes with some fabulous recitals and performances. Now I can settle in to preparing for the Fall and catching up on my blogging!

As I have observed these performances and people who have attended them, I wonder – who do these people think are their Heroes? Do they have any Heroes? Do we need Heroes?

I look at our overabundance of media and how easy it is to just go online to “find” something or look up someone. There are also a lot of personalities online in various venues…Facebook, Tumblr,  Instagram etc… There are people who put a certain personality out there and whether it’s true or not, good or bad, end up with people who follow them…look up to them…emulate them. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not sure. I’ve heard several of my “kids” (students) say they “look up to”, idolize”, “really identify with” some of these online personalities. Now, I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. What I am questioning is with all of these online “Heroes” do we really need any real life heroes? Are people (not just kids) getting the same thing from cyberspace Heroes as real life Heroes?

I guess my question really is:  Do we REALLY need Heroes?

I have talked at length with some of my kids and I have come to the conclusion that whether they are online, virtual Heroes or real life Heroes, we still need them. We still need them and we need to celebrate them.

Of course, after all of this asking around about Heroes, it follows that I have to take a look at myself and see if I have any Heroes. Who do I look up to? What kind of people fit my “Hero Bill”… And while I strive to be completely open on this blog, I’m not going to tell you all of my Heroes. I have some very “Private Personal Heroes” and then some “Public Heroes”.

Some of my “Public Heroes” include relatives… some friends or past co-workers…some people I have never met in person. And to make it even more difficult, I tend to have different “levels” for my Heroes! Here are just a few:

1)      I have an absolutely FABULOUS cousin in the Czech Republic, Zlata, who, in my opinion, can do anything!!!!! She’s smart, funny and did I say smart???

2)      I have an “old” (not really, he’s only a couple years older than me) boss, who taught me just about everything I know about office work and presenting myself in a professional, positive manner. His patience with me while I learned the computer, mortgages and everything else that goes along with that, was infinite!!! We are pretty good friends (although I do not get to see him nearly as often as I’d like), but I still look up to him and consider him one of the smartest men I know. Thanks, Tod Edwards.

3)      Arlene Romaine. Anyone who knows her and sees what she does with her children and family would know exactly what I am talking about. She has home-schooled her children expertly. She is patient and above kind. Her help and guidance when I decided to home-school Hana was incredible. Again, another person I don’t run into nearly enough.

4)      I could go on with my list however; I am just going to finish up my list with one last group of people. That group of people is all of my students…my home voice students, Musical Theatre students, SEASPAR students…each and every one of them are my Heroes. I have seen some of these kids grow from 6 years old to very nice and respectful teens. I have seen some of these guys go through incredible hardships and still persevere. ALL of them have come out on top and are turning into amazing young ladies and young gentlemen. I am seriously lucky to have these guys as my students. They are all my Heroes.

 It’s probably safe to say we no longer believe there are monsters in every closet, under our beds etc… But we still need Heroes. As a society, our need for Heroes has never faded. It has, however, changed in concept. Now the people we champion are soldiers, astronauts, scientists, civil rights activists, people dedicated to helping the poor etc… Ours Heroes define our times and often mimic our times. We define our ideals by the Heroes we choose, which in turn define us. Simply, the Heroes we choose say a lot about who we are. 

Who are YOUR Heroes? And after figuring that out, ask yourself WHY they are your Heroes. What does your choice in Heroes say about you as a person?

Please let me know in my comments section who your Heroes are.  Besides sharing some thoughtful and interesting information about you, it gives a nice shout out to the people who are important to you!!!

Thanks so much for reading. As always Stay Healthy, Eat Well and Be Happy! 

And as John Green always says….”Don’t Forget to be AWESOME!”

**Photo Credit**

Hana Urban

www.Hanaurban.com