Way to go, Westjet!!!!

Such a lovely thing to do for the Holidays!! Gotta love this airline!

http://mashable.com/2013/12/09/westjet-christmas-miracle-ad/#:eyJzIjoiZiIsImkiOiJfMHRuMHBrNDBwc3d4YjJsMiJ9

How the Media has failed us as Women/Girls

Hi Everyone!!

I came across this and thought it was important. All of us women are viewed, picked apart, told what we should be, how we should look, how we should behave, yadda, yadda....

ALL of this is perpetuated by the media. A woman's (and girl's) biggest threat is the way the media portrays us. Below is a short video on how the media has failed us as Women and Girls in 2013.

http://www.upworthy.com/a-glimpse-at-how-the-media-treated-women-this-year-is-a-look-at-way-too-many-cringe-worthy-moments-aa3-5c-2?c=ufb1

PLEASE HELP Michael fight leukemia

Hi Everyone!

I wanted to let you know I am in the final week of the campaign to help this family. Please see my blog post on October 13th for more details.

Michael is still struggling and is in the hospital indefinitely. Some people have been extremely generous and I thank them. However, as we get closer to Christmas it is getting very difficult for this family to have any left over funds for any kind of celebration. I am asking that each of you think about donating to help. We spend hundreds of dollars a year on toys, games, presents, food etc... during the Holidays. If each of you could just spend $10 less and send it over to Michael and his family, the impact on them would be huge with very little impact on your spending for the holidays. 

Please donate.

Please check out the site. I would appreciate any and all help. There are "perks" on the site for people who donate. I will add an additional "perk" to anyone who donates and leaves me a comment here. As most of you know, I have taught music and theatre for almost 10 years in Darien and I am also a mixed media artist. Your extra "perk" will come from those areas of my life :) Voice lessons for 4 weeks? Donate and it's yours. Need a piece of art for an office gift? Donate and it's yours. For donations over $100, I will put together a gift basket of miniature pieces of my artwork for the person who is that generous. If you have any questions or would like to donate directly without using the site please leave me a comment here.

Please see your way to help this family.

Thank you :)
http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/help-michael-beat-t-cell-ams-leukemia 

Fabulous Tea Cups

Look at these fabulous tea cups I made!!!!

Some of my art...

For the next few days/weeks/months...years? I will be posting some of my work...and maybe some of Hana's if she'll let me :) !

Some of it will be finished...some I will show you in stages...Some good...some not so good!

Please feel free to comment on what you like...or don't like!

These next three pieces are my first attempts at using a new medium. Can you guess what that was?

Please help Michael fight Leukemia...

Hi Everyone!

I have start an IndieGoGo (with the enormous help from my daughter!) to help a close friend of mine with his expenses while his son received chemotherapy and radiation therapy for T-cell Leukemia. My friend is a single Dad with two children, Michael (9) and Isabella (10). Michael was just recently diagnosed with Leukemia. My friend is self employed and due to the demands of Michael's treatment schedule, has not been able to work. His expenses are growing and growing. I am trying to raise funds to help him with his travel costs, food and living expenses. I know if I can raise this money it will give Michael the support he needs to get through this.

Anything you can do to help, is appreciated GREATLY. Please check out the link below. If you cannot donate (even $5.00...Raindrops Make a Flood...remember?) please pass this on in your blogs, Facebook profiles, Twitter and any other venue you think appropriate.

"Pay it forward" comes to mind.

THANKS!!!!!!!

PS... ANYONE who contributes ANY amount and let's me know in my comments here, will not only receive the perks on the site, but additional perks (TBA...a mixed media piece by myself) as well.

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/help-michael-beat-t-cell-ams-leukemia

We Are All the Same

When is enough ENOUGH???

Hi Everyone!

My blog has been centered on positivity and trying to keep an upbeat, humorous slant on everyday problems that most of us encounter. I try to be optimistic and I certainly do NOT support or even have a hint of hate on my site. I’m pretty upbeat in “real” life (sometimes, slightly “snarky”, right, Bran?), but as a whole I think my attitude towards day to day living is pretty good. I teach MUSIC and most of my students are CHILDREN.  My SEASPAR students are certainly NOT children, however, my age does say I could conceivably be their Mother J My focus is ALWAYS on how to promote well-being, acceptance and respect with ALL of my students. I support Equality. I supported President Obama in BOTH elections. I also wholeheartedly support ANYTHING that benefits the citizens of our country, with an emphasis on keeping us healthy and providing the best education possible for our children. I am a HUGE proponent of the promotion of Girls and females in general. And I would stake my life on the fact that MUSIC can help solve ANY problem that exists.

With that being said, I want to know…When is enough ENOUGH?  When will this madness stop? A few things happened in the span of two weeks that pushed me into this topic/blog. 

The company my husband works for has recently (in the past couple years) had a merger with another pretty large company. Most of you know that these types of business transactions never, EVER, go smoothly. And his company is no different. The management got themselves all settled, but have yet to work out any significant details of the majority of union contracts. While the CEO of this company takes in $975,000/year(that’s NOT a typo) and over $7 MILLION in bonuses and “other” compensation, most of the workers are still working at the company’s BANKRUPCY salaries, where they took up to a 30% cut in pay to keep the company running. This was TEN YEARS AGO. Since coming out of bankruptcy his company has merged with another and seems to have enough money to pay its CEO over $7 MILLION as a bonus but my husband as well as the rest of the people working for this company have not had a raise in 10 YEARS.

So, I ask again, when is enough ENOUGH?

Below, I am listing just a SAMPLE of some salaries and compensation made by big companies. Yet, we STILL have people working in companies for a minimum wage that even at 40 hours/week you cannot live off. Take a look:

WALMART

Michael Duke…Salary with compensation (stocks, bonuses etc…) $17+mil

Average worker salary: $22,100…Takes 57 employees’ salaries to match his BASE salary

TARGET

Greg Steinhafel… Salary with compensation…$19 mil

Average worker salary: $29,500…51 employees’ salaries to match his BASE salary

WELLS FARGO

John Stumpf…Salary with compensation $17.9 mil

Average worker salary: $44,000…66 employees’ salaries to match his BASE salary

EXXON MOBIL

R. W. Tillerson…Salary with compensation…$27,229,300

Average worker salary…N/A

DELTA AIRLINES

Richard H. Anderson … Salary with compensation…$12,575,572 

Average worker salary…N/A

I believe I have hit on a nice variety of the services that we, as average citizens, pay an enormous amount of money to have. We’ve got banks that tanked our economy, we’ve got gas companies that not only gauge the customers, but cannot clean up their messes, leaving irreparable environmental devastation because of their negligence and greed, and airlines who pay their executives (NOT their workers who shoulder the brunt of all their horrible decisions and actions) so much money that it’s almost IMPOSSIBLE for any average American to fly anywhere reasonably. (The budget airlines do not count. They nickel and dime you to death or treat you like cattle.)

WHY do these executives need to be paid these salaries and “bonuses”? While most of us are working our butts off trying to make ends meet, these guys are sending their kids to private schools and taking vacations to places most of us only dream of going to.

When is enough ENOUGH?

And now…we have a government that cannot seem to function. We have parties spewing hate throughout the media. We have a media who LOVES this because they can sensationalize ALL of it. How about ignoring these blowhards who only want a bit of press time, and interview some of the 800,000 people who were furloughed because our government couldn’t “get along” long enough to actually DO THEIR JOBS????????

When is enough ENOUGH?

I don’t know about any of you, but I have had enough. I have had enough with my husband’s company. I have had enough of Wal-Mart (strong arming our city so they could become “super”? NOT cool.). I have had enough of Exxon Mobile(clean up your messes!), Wells Fargo and Target. I want to ask these CEO’s how can you take so much money and your workers are suffering? What is wrong with them?

My last questions to all of you is …

When is enough ENOUGH and what are you going to do about it?

I appreciate your reading my blog this week. The regular “Nancy” will be back next time…but I will still be wondering, when is enough ENOUGH???

Illustration by Hana Urban

www.Hanaurban.com

Check this out everyone. Please let me know what you think.

https://www.upworthy.com/teaching-children-in-this-awful-way-is-like-helping-a-person-who-is-on-fire-by-drowning-them?c=upw9

How to Handle Criticism Positively

I received this from Positively Present. I thought it was great. Please check out their website at www.positivelypresent.com.

HOW TO HANDLE CRITICISM POSITIVELY

1. Don't take it personally. It's hard not to take it personally when someone is criticizing you, but try to take a step back from the words and process them from an objective place. What is this person really saying? Is it about you or about him/her? And if it is about you, is it true? Sometimes we react so quickly to what's being said that we don't realize that it might be true. Or we react so quickly that we don't realize that it's so untrue that it's not even worth thinking about. 

2. Believe in yourself. When you know (and stay true to) who you are, the words of others carry less weight. You know what matters most to you and you know if you are staying true to your own path and what others say shouldn't make you question who you are. And, when you are true to yourself, you can be more open to others words because you know they will either ring true to you or they will be so inaccurate that you won't even need to think twice about them. 

3. Realize you can't please everyone. Every single one of us has a unique perspective of reality influenced by our thoughts and experiences and sometimes our perspective creates different ideas of how things should be. No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to please everyone's idea of what's right so focus on pleasing yourself. If you're doing what's right for you and you feel good about how you're behaving, you don't need any one else's approval. 

4. Use negative feedback to inspire you. Take any negativity that comes your way and use it to make your life more positive. Listen to the criticism someone is offering you and ask yourself if it might possibly good advice. If you decide it is, act on it. Make changes for the better. If you think the critique is untrue, use the other person's negativity to fuel your fire, to motivate you to do what is right for you, and to go in the direction that suits you best. 

5. Learn from the critique. There are two ways you can learn from criticism: (1) you can see the truth it in (if there is any) and strive to make some edits to your behavior, or (2) you can realize that it's not valid and you can strengthen your own beliefs by sticking to what feels true to you. Either way, you have the potential to learn and grow from the criticism you've received. You have the power to take something positive from the negative. 

Coping with criticism can be a challenge, but it's something we're all bound to encounter at some point. Whether you do well with criticism or not, you always have the opportunity to transform it from something negative to something positive. You can make the most of anything life throws at you—even when it seems like it's cloaked in negativity. When you encounter criticism, remember to take a step back and think before you react. Doing so will give you a chance to see the glimmer of positivity that lies in every single negative critique. 

How Authentic are you...Really?

                                           

Hi Everyone!

I hope your summer is wrapping up well. The Master Gardener and I are gathering the vegetables and herbs from our garden and trying to get a jump on preparing the soil for the winter. My herbs are drying, he is been busy canning. So, between our garden and the Farm in Naperville we’ve had a boatload of fresh vegetables and herbs!!!!

It’s during this time, late August/ early September, that I take a look at how my summer went. What did I accomplish (or not) and how did my plans work out, or not work out. I look to see if I’ve made some new friends, lost any friends and what my relationships look like. I do this now because after September we run full force into the Holiday Season and to me it’s almost impossible to evaluate/re-evaluate from October until the end of the year.

One of the biggest areas I look at is how authentic I am/was. Was I Me? And did I present myself to my friends, family, students and people I met in an open and honest way. Was I AUTHENTIC or was I being someone else?

I think these are fair and valid questions that everyone should take the time to ask themselves. Who are you at work? And who are you at home? Are those two different personalities or not? Do you apply the same values at work that you do at home? Should you?

Back B.H. (before Hana) and even B.L. (before Lad), I can say I wasn’t terribly concerned with my authenticity. I’ve rarely met a person in their late teens/early twenties who is. However, as I’ve gotten older have become more aware of “being me”. I have realized that in trying my best to “be me” certain things might happen.

For one, not everyone likes me. Back B.H. /B.L that would have driven me to distraction. Now? Not so much. Most of the time if I sense someone just doesn’t like me, I shrug and say “Oh well. Their loss”! Sometimes, I will admit, when I get a feeling someone doesn’t like me I get a crappy feeling in my stomach. But most of the time it’s “Oh well”.

Another, I find it very difficult to be me with difficult people. This summer I had dealings with a couple extremely difficult people. People who run right over other people’s feeling and words…my Mom would probably call them “Steamrollers”…steamroll right over you. Those kinds of people just irritate the heck out of me. I find it VERY hard to deal with people like that. So, being authentic with those people, to me, is HARD.

Another, we have grown up in a world where people were not encouraged to be authentic. Where we all grew up with a basic sense of what’s right and what’s wrong, we weren’t told that how and what WE decide is right or wrong would shape us for the rest of our lives. I wrote a piece on April 25, 2013 about Doing the “Right” Thing. I highly encourage you to check that out. What I find with people is the struggle to do the right thing seems to be so hard for some. That is something I cannot understand. Yes, I know-there are always “gray” areas. I get it. But when it comes down to what is right and what is wrong…you always know what you SHOULD choose. But do you always do it? General H. Norman Schwarzkopf said “The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it”. True words.

Lastly, in trying to be authentic and trying to be “me”, I see things about myself that make wonder. I mean, I have said to myself this summer MANY times- “What the heck were you thinking????” Or “Why on Earth did that EVER come out of your mouth???”. In shifting to being more yourself and authentic, be prepared to learn some things about yourself that make you a little uncomfortable or honestly, that really just tick you off!

Fortunately, I have plenty of people around me to make me laugh at my crazy idiosyncrasies!! And most of the time I try to laugh right along with them. I will admit, sometime it’s kind of hard. I think that being authentic and being true to yourself is always the best way to go. I would much rather people like me for who I am instead of some imposter…or poser.

During the next couple weeks ask yourself if you are authentic. Ask yourself if there are certain people/situations that you are “someone else”, and then ask yourself why. If you are not being your true, authentic self with someone, I wonder if that’s a sign that maybe that relationship is not a good one. Try being authentic for a full day. What happened?

I feel better when I am authentic…when I am being me. Try it. You might like it.

Thanks for reading!!!!!! As always Stay Healthy, Eat Well and Be Happy!

And as John Green says- “Don’t forget to be awesome”!!!!!

*** Artwork by Hana Urban
*** www.Hanaurban.com

Heroes...Do We Need Them?

Hi Everyone!

I wrapped up my summer classes with some fabulous recitals and performances. Now I can settle in to preparing for the Fall and catching up on my blogging!

As I have observed these performances and people who have attended them, I wonder – who do these people think are their Heroes? Do they have any Heroes? Do we need Heroes?

I look at our overabundance of media and how easy it is to just go online to “find” something or look up someone. There are also a lot of personalities online in various venues…Facebook, Tumblr,  Instagram etc… There are people who put a certain personality out there and whether it’s true or not, good or bad, end up with people who follow them…look up to them…emulate them. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not sure. I’ve heard several of my “kids” (students) say they “look up to”, idolize”, “really identify with” some of these online personalities. Now, I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. What I am questioning is with all of these online “Heroes” do we really need any real life heroes? Are people (not just kids) getting the same thing from cyberspace Heroes as real life Heroes?

I guess my question really is:  Do we REALLY need Heroes?

I have talked at length with some of my kids and I have come to the conclusion that whether they are online, virtual Heroes or real life Heroes, we still need them. We still need them and we need to celebrate them.

Of course, after all of this asking around about Heroes, it follows that I have to take a look at myself and see if I have any Heroes. Who do I look up to? What kind of people fit my “Hero Bill”… And while I strive to be completely open on this blog, I’m not going to tell you all of my Heroes. I have some very “Private Personal Heroes” and then some “Public Heroes”.

Some of my “Public Heroes” include relatives… some friends or past co-workers…some people I have never met in person. And to make it even more difficult, I tend to have different “levels” for my Heroes! Here are just a few:

1)      I have an absolutely FABULOUS cousin in the Czech Republic, Zlata, who, in my opinion, can do anything!!!!! She’s smart, funny and did I say smart???

2)      I have an “old” (not really, he’s only a couple years older than me) boss, who taught me just about everything I know about office work and presenting myself in a professional, positive manner. His patience with me while I learned the computer, mortgages and everything else that goes along with that, was infinite!!! We are pretty good friends (although I do not get to see him nearly as often as I’d like), but I still look up to him and consider him one of the smartest men I know. Thanks, Tod Edwards.

3)      Arlene Romaine. Anyone who knows her and sees what she does with her children and family would know exactly what I am talking about. She has home-schooled her children expertly. She is patient and above kind. Her help and guidance when I decided to home-school Hana was incredible. Again, another person I don’t run into nearly enough.

4)      I could go on with my list however; I am just going to finish up my list with one last group of people. That group of people is all of my students…my home voice students, Musical Theatre students, SEASPAR students…each and every one of them are my Heroes. I have seen some of these kids grow from 6 years old to very nice and respectful teens. I have seen some of these guys go through incredible hardships and still persevere. ALL of them have come out on top and are turning into amazing young ladies and young gentlemen. I am seriously lucky to have these guys as my students. They are all my Heroes.

 It’s probably safe to say we no longer believe there are monsters in every closet, under our beds etc… But we still need Heroes. As a society, our need for Heroes has never faded. It has, however, changed in concept. Now the people we champion are soldiers, astronauts, scientists, civil rights activists, people dedicated to helping the poor etc… Ours Heroes define our times and often mimic our times. We define our ideals by the Heroes we choose, which in turn define us. Simply, the Heroes we choose say a lot about who we are. 

Who are YOUR Heroes? And after figuring that out, ask yourself WHY they are your Heroes. What does your choice in Heroes say about you as a person?

Please let me know in my comments section who your Heroes are.  Besides sharing some thoughtful and interesting information about you, it gives a nice shout out to the people who are important to you!!!

Thanks so much for reading. As always Stay Healthy, Eat Well and Be Happy! 

And as John Green always says….”Don’t Forget to be AWESOME!”

**Photo Credit**

Hana Urban

www.Hanaurban.com

An Open Letter to Katy Perry,Taylor Swift & Others

Hi Everyone!

I am back!!! It’s been an interesting a busy few weeks! I have spent a lot of time with kids from the ages of 7-14 all summer and, boy, have I learned a lot! Most of you are aware of what I do for a living, however, for those of you who do not, I work as a Music/Theatre Teacher. I have a lot of contact with kids as well as young adults.

With that being said, I wanted to talk about something in the music industry that bothers me….and alarms me. It is how music is marketed to young girls. I think the young musicians (and not so young) who market to the teens/tweens are doing it wrong. The Teen demographic is one of the most sought after and coveted demographic for young musicians. Check out Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus. These musicians all have marketed or are currently marketing themselves to the teen/tween demographic. Fair enough. But how are they doing this?

I did a quick Google Image search of the ladies listed above. What did I see? Cleavage and skin? Yup. As well as a few of them on the cover of Cosmo. Cosmo? Seriously? You’re marketing yourself to my Teenager/Tween and you’re half-dressed on the cover of Cosmo?

Then I took look at Justin Bieber on Google Images….there he is without a shirt. There he is in his underwear or with his underwear extremely low cut. I mean, come on!!! YOU market to teens/tweens and you come THIS FAR from exposing your private parts!

I take the subject of how we are raising our girls extremely seriously. I am not a prude. I am not an “ultra-conservative” mom. I actually consider myself pretty open minded. However, when I see celebrities like the ones above doing what they’re doing while marketing to teens/tweens I practically scream! So, here is my open letter to Katy, Justin, Taylor, Demi, Selena, Miley and all of who are marketing yourselves to the teen/tween demographic.

Dear Celebrities Marketing to the Teen/Tween Demographic,

I’ll put it simply: I don’t like the image you are selling to our girls. Most of you have pretty good music (with the exception of Taylor Swift, but I will address that). However, your great music and messages in your music is negated by the images you put forth and some of you, by your behavior. I will list my problems with you one by one.

(          

          1)   Katy Perry…Every girl I know LOVES your music.It has some great messages to it. Particularly Firework. But do you have to shoot sparklers out of your breasts to get your point across in that song? You KNOW teens/tweens love you. You KNOW they look up to you. So, why do you have to do that? Did it ever occur to you that there is some 10 year old out there trying to figure out how to shoot fireworks out of their breasts? It’s not funny. It’s also not funny or cool to show up at Teen Choice Awards with your “assets” propped up like action figures on a shelf for everyone to admire and look at. Have some class and maybe a bit of discretion. Most girls do not have your body, Katy, and never will. But because you put so much emphasis on it these girls are trying like hell to have it. Cannot even imagine their self-image problems because of that. Enough said.

(   

          2)   Taylor Swift…Stop being a Mean Girl. It may be “hip” and “edgy” to slam your former boyfriends in your songs(seriously they should get some money from the sale of those songs), but it’s also classless and MEAN. You have some great songs. You are very talented. We get it. But “Why you gotta be so mean?" You’re teaching our girls that if they are mad at someone they can be publicly mean to them. And you’re teaching our boys not to trust girls. Stop being a Mean Girl. Please.

(   

          3)   Demi Lovato/Selena Gomez/Miley Cyrus… Put some clothes on. When you are marketing to teens/tweens there is absolutely NO reason for you to be wearing lingerie. Period. I cannot get past your inappropriate clothing enough to see if you actually have any talent. Girls, you do not have to dress sexy to be attractive. Self-confidence is attractive. Not skimpily clad girls with pouty red lips. Just sayin’.

(   

          4)   Justin, Justin, Justin… Your music is great. But you know what? Grow up and act like those musicians who are ALLOWING you to collaborate with them. Have some class. Stop whining and start winning good opinions by your character. And you know what? You need to put some clothes on as well. It’s much more attractive to imagine what’s beneath the clothing on a well-dressed, talented man then to see his underwear and bare chest all the time.

Do better, you guys. These teens/tweens will grow up and follow you until they are adults. Grow with them and you will keep them as fans (money). Do things they admire. They are a HUGE demographic for you guys to feed your paychecks. You actively pursue them. That in itself requires you to act responsibly towards them. Unless, of course, all you want is their money and don’t care. If that’s the case, then you really do not deserve the admiration you get from them… and karma will get you in the end J……Just sayin’……

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Nancy

**PHOTO CREDIT**

Hana Urban

www.hanaurban.com

Goals

Don't worry if your goals seem crazy to other people;

oftentimes the crazy ideas are the ones 

that have the greatest impact.

Children...How do we support them?

Hi Everyone!

As I sit down to write this the funeral for the four members of the Andrus Family who died a week ago is happening. I think about the mother...I think about the father, but mostly I think about the children. 

I have been tossing around the subject for this article for a while. I know I wanted to write about kids...all ages... and what we do as a society, as adults, to support and encourage them. 

I have mentioned several times in this blog what I do for a living. Between my home students, Darien Park District students, SEASPAR students and Tri-County SRA students, I work with kids from 3 to their late 20's. I see a lot of things that make me so happy and I see a lot of things that distress and disturb me as well.

One of the things that makes me cringe...makes me just want to get down and have a serious talk with some parents...is their support/lack of support for their children. Some parents/family members do not even realize how discouraging and  not supportive they are to their children. In my generation there were certain expectations for me, as a girl. My Mother's generation there were expectations AND limitations for her as a female. My Grandmother's generation? You did what was expected and no more and no less. The same applies to boys, however, they have and have had a bit more flexibility. Small disclaimer: 98% of my students are girls! :)

Don't get me wrong, I see an enormous amount of support from parents of most of my students. So much support and encouragement and in so many ways. THAT is fantastic. But then I take a long look at everyone. How are we REALLY supporting and encouraging our children? Have we and do we influence them with our views or do we let them form their own views? I'm not talking about manners, etiquette, religion, schooling. I am talking about their interests. How do we support their interests? Do we let them try new things? Do we discourage them from certain activities because WE don't like them? What do we actually do to support our children?

I have heard so many parents say to me, "Well, she's not very good at this  but I'm letting her try anyway." (Setting the kid up for failure). Or "I would prefer she play soccer (volleyball, softball, gymnastics etc...), but she wants to do this.". Or "Her Mother and I think this is a phase and she'll eventually stop wanting to do this (theatre, voice, musical theatre...)". My reply to all of these is ALWAYS..."Let's wait and see. You never know."

I have recently been looking at the ways girls are brought up and boys are brought up in our society. And it's shocking how differently they are treated from the VERY BEGINNING. I have seen how the media treats girls differently than boys and I have seen the absolutely disturbing way products are marketed to girls AND boys. From a very young age girls are taught to value looks over substance. Look at what the media does to focus on girls. From baby dolls to barbies these girls are shown that it's all about how they look. And boys? They are told to be tough. Act like men. 

What if your daughter wants to be a professional wrestler? What if your son wants to own a nail salon? What if either of them finds a home in the Arts? What would you do? Mothers...what would you do? Fathers... what would you do? What if your little girls want to play football? What if your little boy wants to learn ballet? And, more importantly, what would you do if your child, boy or girl, chose a lifestyle that you did not expect or want for them?

What will you do? 

In my opinion, and I am by no means an expert in the field of child rearing, as a parent, when you are faced with these types of situations, this is the true test. What kind of parent will you be when your child goes in a completely different direction that what you wanted or even expected? How supportive would you be? Because I will tell you right now, that your level of support (at ANY age) greatly effects how that child will move forward in the future. Support, encouragement and lack of each are remembered forever. 

With all of my students and my own daughter, I see decisions they make that I just shake my head and try to counsel them about the consequences. And there are always consequences. I am not in agreement with a lot of those decisions. However, I believe as a Teacher AND a Parent it is my responsibility and duty to be as supportive and encouraging as I can. Our children need this. And they need it from birth to forever. 

Is this hard to do when you see them making a bad decision? Why, yes it is. However, it's not hard to be a supportive, loving parent/teacher. Our kids NEED that. With so much happening in the world, the support and encouragement of parents and teachers is paramount. It's a necessity.

Today I make a pledge to be as supportive and encouraging to every one of my students and my daughter as I can possibly be. 

Are you willing to make that pledge?

Thanks for reading!!!!!! Please feel free to drop me a comment. As always stay healthy, eat well and be happy!!!! 

Bullying- Adult Style

Hi Everyone!

I'm thinking you guys should go grab a snack and a beverage because I have a lot to say today! I know, I know! You're thinking "Geez! She ALWAYS has a lot to say!"...but this time it's different.

I have hesitated to jump on the "let's talk about bullying" bandwagon because I am certainly not an expert in the field (while I have had plenty of experience in it)...I am not huge on statistics and I always, ALWAYS try to err on the side of "Taking the high road" (Hana is rolling her eyes!). However, so many different situations have presented themselves in the past couple weeks that I want to to address some of them.

First let me say how great it is to see all of the anti-bullying programs coming to the schools. The intentions are good. There is definitely been an eye-opening of sorts to the huge problem of bullying. In elementary and middle schools the kids are given these programs are are working with them and taking the messages to heart. But what happens after middle school? Not just in high school, but college and beyond? 

I can tell you what happens. Bullying becomes more sophisticated-not as recognizable as bullying- but bullying nonetheless. It's often done under the guise of humor. Sometimes done by people thinking they are just "voicing their opinions" or exercising their right to free speech etc....But when it all comes down to it....it IS bullying. It's disheartening, disappointing and awful.

So, what's happening? Why are we only limiting our anti-bullying programs to elementary and middle schools? We should be following through in all aspects of our lives. High schools must have these programs. Colleges MUST have these programs and workplaces would benefit HUGELY from having anti-bullying seminars.

In the past couple of weeks I have seen many instances of what I call Young Adult/Adult bullying. I see it with men, however, I can say the majority of it that I see is with women. WOMEN. Is it because we are being told to stand up for our rights and to be "strong" women we have to be aggressive, outspoken and loud? And honestly, the bullying with women I see is directed towards other women! Why is this? We all know that when girls/women bully is much more subtle...words are used to make maximum impact...and the psychological application of the bullying is intense with women. 

Let's be absolutely clear...I AM NOT SLAMMING WOMEN in any, way, shape or form. I firmly believe women/girls should fully support each other, building each other up instead of tearing each other down. We should be seeking equality in all aspects of our lives and we should do it together. HOWEVER, there is a disturbing trend of women bullying women right now. 

And I don't like it.

Have a beef with a roommate? Stay off the social media sites and speak directly to the person about the problem. Have a problem in general? STAY OFF THE SOCIAL MEDIA SITES. Taking a personal argument into a public forum is wrong. It'snobody's business. Don't do it. Not only is that rude and classless, but it is a form of bullying as well. Again...think twice, maybe even three times before taking a private fight public on social media. It never ends well when something personal because public.

Have an issue with some sort of service provided to you? Going to Customer service to complain? When you talk down to that customer service person, scream and yell and treat that person like they are beneath you- THAT is bullying. Don't do that. If you do- you are a bully. Period. Yes you are.

How do you relate to people in your office? How do others act within the office? Are you or anyone else putting someone down or speaking badly about another person in the office, then when they walk in the room the "quiet" thing happens? THAT is bullying. Don't be like that. Again, if you have an issue with someone go to that person. Talking about them behind their backs is a form of bullying. And, honestly, it's just not nice. Bad Karma, too.

This week I have seen bullies in traffic, bullies in the grocery store (you know who you are when you have to race to get in front of me in the line), bullies in my neighborhood, bullies on Facebook, bullies on tumblr. Everywhere.

We are adults. We do a fantastic job of letting our younger ones know what bullying is and what to do about it. When we bullying people as adults...even though it might be subtle and not outwardly too apparent...we are undoing all the good we have tried to do for the kids.

Adult bullying has to stop. And I will be the first one to say it right here. Adults must stop bullying adults. There is no need for it. If you have a problem with someone then do the adult thing and talk to the person. If you are jealous, envious...if you've been wronged...if you think someone doesn't deserve what they have... then I'm going to tell you the phrase that I use before I open my mouth to say something or do something that may be inappropriate, or God forbid, bullying ...

"Check yourself before you wreck yourself."

Thanks for reading. As always- Stay Healthy, Eat Well and Be Happy!!!

Music #2

Only through music can we hear the past,

 enjoy the present, and 

compose the future.

Music

If not for music sound would be black and white.

Today

You are what you do today, not what you say you’ll do tomorrow.

Doing the "Right" Thing

Hi Everyone!

I'm just going to jump right in... Whatever happened to doing something because it was the "right" thing to do? These past few weeks I have seen an overabundance of situations where there was a clear-cut choice....go one path and overlook the "right" thing or just throw your shoulders back and do the right thing even though it's not the easiest way.

I have seen the attitude of "Well everyone I see is doing this, so it must not be wrong". Or the "Well, who is really hurt by me not picking up that small piece of paper?".... I think it really comes down to a person's ethics. What is your ethic? 

Ethics aren't all just black and white. I completely understand that there is always, and I mean always, a shade of gray in every situation. And I guess that's the hardest part about doing the right thing. If every situation were black and white then it would be easy, right? 

Maybe not so much for some people...or even MOST people. I can say with absolute certainty that I do not "do the right thing" all the time. I am not sure I know of anyone who does. But do I know people who STRIVE to do the right thing? Absolutely. Do I know people who don't really care about doing the right thing? Oh yeah. And that's another issue. What do you do about those people who never seem to care about whether actions have an impact on anyone else? The ones that just go about their daily lives without wondering if because they make themselves happy, they just might be screwing up someone else's world? How do you deal with these people?

I have had a couple of those kinds of people in the past couple weeks and to tell you the truth it has taken a whole lot of deep breaths and reminding myself that going to jail because I lost my mind with these people was just not worth it!!! As a teacher, I constantly deal with this type of situation. And to be honest, I don't have any clear cut way of dealing with these guys. I think what it comes down to is I thank my lucky stars that most of the time I try to be ethically sound and when I am not I have the good grace to feel bad about it.

Those of you who know me are very aware of the situations I have encountered. And I have had to "check myself before I wrecked myself" SO many times lately that I am actually proud of myself for NOT losing my mind! 

So, what do you REALLY do when someone blatantly sidesteps ethics and common good and knowingly ignores the "right" thing to do? What do you do?

Well, in the several situations I encountered I handled them all differently. One of them, I patiently explained to the parent that while I understand their skating coach is a professional, I, too am a professional. I listed my qualifications for her (three degrees in Music Ed/Musical Theatre/Music Therapy) and left it at that. She didn't "get" it. (I went home and had a Lime-Arita).

The second situation, was the hardest. I just smiled and said I was sorry for her misunderstanding. Left it at that. (Then went home and had another Lime-Arita).

The last situation I felt comfortable enough to call this person out on the, what I thought, was a lapse in judgement. I explained that I thought the "right" thing to do was a different way and why I thought that. I also said she should do what she felt comfortable with. She did not do the "right" thing. (I went home and had my last Lime-Arita).

In all seriousness, we ALL know what the "right" thing to do is. And, you know, it's not always easy to do that. Sometimes it's just easier and less hassle to skate by, do what you need to do and go home. But when we don't do the right thing it takes its toll. Somebody, somewhere knows you took a shortcut. Somebody knows. Whether it's YOU, yourself or another person. And what that does is demean yourself and your existence. I am not saying do what YOU think is right everyone else be damned. Because you have to be flexible and understanding of situations. What's "right" for you may not be "right" for someone else. So, what do you do? 

Think it through. Think about how your actions will affect another person. Think about whether or not you can make a small compromise that might make the situation less difficult. 

"COMPROMISE"...what a fantastic little word that is so often forgotten in this day and age. Don't compromise your core values and ethics. That's not what I'm suggesting. However, if you can compromise WITHOUT compromising yourself and beliefs, why not do it? The energy spent fighting compromise can be directed somewhere else....maybe into something positive and good. Think about it.

By asking people to Do the Right Thing, I know that it's a hard request. I am not asking for perfection. I cannot ask for perfection. That's an impossible task for human beings. But I can ask that you strive to be good. 

Thanks again for reading. As always Stay Healthy, Eat Well, and Be Happy!!