Goals

Don't worry if your goals seem crazy to other people;

oftentimes the crazy ideas are the ones 

that have the greatest impact.

Children...How do we support them?

Hi Everyone!

As I sit down to write this the funeral for the four members of the Andrus Family who died a week ago is happening. I think about the mother...I think about the father, but mostly I think about the children. 

I have been tossing around the subject for this article for a while. I know I wanted to write about kids...all ages... and what we do as a society, as adults, to support and encourage them. 

I have mentioned several times in this blog what I do for a living. Between my home students, Darien Park District students, SEASPAR students and Tri-County SRA students, I work with kids from 3 to their late 20's. I see a lot of things that make me so happy and I see a lot of things that distress and disturb me as well.

One of the things that makes me cringe...makes me just want to get down and have a serious talk with some parents...is their support/lack of support for their children. Some parents/family members do not even realize how discouraging and  not supportive they are to their children. In my generation there were certain expectations for me, as a girl. My Mother's generation there were expectations AND limitations for her as a female. My Grandmother's generation? You did what was expected and no more and no less. The same applies to boys, however, they have and have had a bit more flexibility. Small disclaimer: 98% of my students are girls! :)

Don't get me wrong, I see an enormous amount of support from parents of most of my students. So much support and encouragement and in so many ways. THAT is fantastic. But then I take a long look at everyone. How are we REALLY supporting and encouraging our children? Have we and do we influence them with our views or do we let them form their own views? I'm not talking about manners, etiquette, religion, schooling. I am talking about their interests. How do we support their interests? Do we let them try new things? Do we discourage them from certain activities because WE don't like them? What do we actually do to support our children?

I have heard so many parents say to me, "Well, she's not very good at this  but I'm letting her try anyway." (Setting the kid up for failure). Or "I would prefer she play soccer (volleyball, softball, gymnastics etc...), but she wants to do this.". Or "Her Mother and I think this is a phase and she'll eventually stop wanting to do this (theatre, voice, musical theatre...)". My reply to all of these is ALWAYS..."Let's wait and see. You never know."

I have recently been looking at the ways girls are brought up and boys are brought up in our society. And it's shocking how differently they are treated from the VERY BEGINNING. I have seen how the media treats girls differently than boys and I have seen the absolutely disturbing way products are marketed to girls AND boys. From a very young age girls are taught to value looks over substance. Look at what the media does to focus on girls. From baby dolls to barbies these girls are shown that it's all about how they look. And boys? They are told to be tough. Act like men. 

What if your daughter wants to be a professional wrestler? What if your son wants to own a nail salon? What if either of them finds a home in the Arts? What would you do? Mothers...what would you do? Fathers... what would you do? What if your little girls want to play football? What if your little boy wants to learn ballet? And, more importantly, what would you do if your child, boy or girl, chose a lifestyle that you did not expect or want for them?

What will you do? 

In my opinion, and I am by no means an expert in the field of child rearing, as a parent, when you are faced with these types of situations, this is the true test. What kind of parent will you be when your child goes in a completely different direction that what you wanted or even expected? How supportive would you be? Because I will tell you right now, that your level of support (at ANY age) greatly effects how that child will move forward in the future. Support, encouragement and lack of each are remembered forever. 

With all of my students and my own daughter, I see decisions they make that I just shake my head and try to counsel them about the consequences. And there are always consequences. I am not in agreement with a lot of those decisions. However, I believe as a Teacher AND a Parent it is my responsibility and duty to be as supportive and encouraging as I can. Our children need this. And they need it from birth to forever. 

Is this hard to do when you see them making a bad decision? Why, yes it is. However, it's not hard to be a supportive, loving parent/teacher. Our kids NEED that. With so much happening in the world, the support and encouragement of parents and teachers is paramount. It's a necessity.

Today I make a pledge to be as supportive and encouraging to every one of my students and my daughter as I can possibly be. 

Are you willing to make that pledge?

Thanks for reading!!!!!! Please feel free to drop me a comment. As always stay healthy, eat well and be happy!!!!